journal hidup untuk bagasi special edition episod 3

Mom, Teeth and People

there's quite some story i've collected for today.., but let's start with last night...,

Last Night:

i went berserk when i was asking my sister to switch the lamp off for me but they didn't want to help.., and the usual me have become the monster who keep cursing and talk loud.., yup..., i just can't help it.., and it stop my attention to write a post.., but actually.., the post i wanna write about is how a daughter of my mom had done bad towards her.., and i do wanna start the story right now.., i realize how much i've done bad this gong xi fa chai week..., and how i protest whenever she asked me to do something.., i know.., my bad..., maybe i'm just sick of someone command.., but man.., she's my mom.., i should listen to her..., she always right anyway.., urm..., except for certain thing.., anyway.., i love her the way she is.., i love her more than anything in this world.., maybe more than myself.., even i only believe in myself.., i would like to apologize to her.., i know i've done lots of irritate things.., but that's your daughter mom..., she wanna be herself.., and sometimes you didn't allow her to.., that's why..., i don't know.., maybe i'm wrong from many aspect..., but can you please listen to me just once??? what i wanna be.., what i wanna do.., why i chose this.., and so forth.., you know it.., i know that well.., but.., i don't know.., maybe the reason is you want the best for me.., and you want a secure life for me.., but i have my own way of doing things..., and i just need you to support me.., that's all..., but more than this.., i just wanna say sorry to my mom.., but maybe the egoistic is just thicker than blood..., anyway..., if one day i have to leave first before anyone else..., and i don't have the chance to say sorry..., just tell her to read my blog..., and i want her to know that i love her and i'm sorry for what i have done.., i know i'm bad.., and i'm sorry..., (ketika ini sedang mendengar lagu salam terakhir okay.., terima kasih..,)

This Morning:

ouh~ thank you.., the clinic is open at 9 and i'm here stuck in front of the clinic with nowhere to go since it still in the area of 8 oclock..., okay.., mak is just true.., sorry for not listening.., well..., i am somewhat a metal head with a metal teeth.., i was waiting for the clinic workers to tell me to go inside..., since they just mopping the floor and i had to wait until it dried up.., but before that.., my leg is already in state where they asked me to find some chair to be seated.., luckily i was texting with my sweet friend who didn't show up at work..., because of over slept this morning..., Aimi Farahin.., so ididn't feel at lost that much.., today was friday ain't i?? hahahaha!! you won't know anyway.., then the dentist come.., smiling at me while he was walking passing me by..., and i was writing a post that time.., ha~ha~ then they called my name.., nothing particular to tell.., just the metal been tight up.., a little pain.., but while doing that.., i was thinking what if the scissor use to tight the metal is flying over my face?? then just after a while.., it does.., you know what i feel at that time?? wow!! my wish has become true.., silly me.., and of course i feel pain!! luckily no scar or scratch.., just nothing.., but the dentist didn't apologize.., but.., whatever.., as if i would care.., and my teeth is now blue in color.., wee~

Noon:

i'm walking alone trying to find my desired stuff after so long.., i look for new item for h.u.b, self care and mak's.., while i was doing my most favorite thing in the world.., that is shop and walk..., my twin Zainab..., texting me.., and let me know that she read my blog.., i was touched!! really dear.., you know why?? because people always read other people's blog in front of me.., and telling me that their words are the best.., what would i feel?? i just act like nothing.., enjoying the reading but inside.., it hurts!! i just wrote according to myself.., i don't wanna be anyone else.., i just wanna be me.., i got my own way of doing things.., (i did mention this a lot).., enough said.., but they should know how i feel kan?? apa-apalah.., okay mangrish~ i think i have quite a strong presence.., you know whenever i go.., people are just love to stare at me like i am somehow an alien.., but let me be positive.., may be i just born to have that kind of superstar attraction.., but do i care?? a big NO.., just stare.., i know i have great fashion sense.., i know i'm cute,pretty and gorgeous.., i know i look like a CEO.., i am anyway.., and i know people are just jealous.., sorry guys for not having them.., (all these referred to those who are looking at me like they are idiots).., sorry.., i'm not try to be harsh here.., i am bitch.., so what??!! and today.., all the aunties at some kedai bunga.., i don't know.., maybe the money is no longer enough because giving too much ang pao.., but auntie.., i am your customer.., treat me like one la.., but some are nice.., not all.., anyway.., i do admit that sometimes i sick of people because maybe they don't understand me.., i don't blame them or anyone.., maybe it just me.., but i can't blame myself to be like one..., i'm just me~

h.u.b:

currently i have 4 other design to be finished before this sunday.., and still got other 2.., needs a lot of barang to buy.., ouh~ tool box.., i should have one...., i have a question..., some said.., when we are telling people too much about our dreams.., it's not gonna be true.., but words are prayer..., what do you think??

journal hidup untuk bagasi muka 29

it was 1.55 a.m.., according to the golden clock full with Quran verse just now..., and i still not asleep.., with the fact that i am tired.., it's a Chinese New Year anyway.., and i'm the only person awake.., and creepy sound??? don't ask.., i heard a lot.., but.., hey, i'm home..., no biggie!! i wanna continue my Tokyo Dog current watch.., but guess.., it wouldn't do tonight..., i'll end up by the drama watch the whole series of alien sleep.., huhu..., weeks had past and it has become month.., but nothing much has change..., it frustrate me a lot..., cause i need changes.., and i'm in hunger..., i've got (current) 7 t's to be finished and delivered..., but things doesn't really got your way..., i got problems and it's a lot..., got no time and mood to tell one..., is seeking the right time to tell mom about my future plan.., just hope she'll understand her weird-thinking-and behaviour, independence and creative daughter..., and i hate when people are making fun of and marriage..., what the hell in earth is going on??? just shut up!! i know what i should have one..., but before the time come..., you better keep your mouth and hands in the pocket.., or you'll get my cursing..., i'm only 21-will-be this year.., and i have never even once got a boyfriend..., i got a lot to do for my own sake..., i really cant and don't understand the crap they talk.., just because i love kids it didn't mean i want one my own...., argh! thinking about the craps just make my red-youth blood boiled..., NO!!! high blood pressure!! i wanna be healthy and see my fav band be a grandpa band..., anyway, i'm going berserk if they talk that f***ing crap ever again.., people just don't understand..., but for those who knows and understand well..., great and good job..., and i love you guys..., but it'll be no more if you do the same..., sick of being under someone command..., can i have my own-private-made-by-me world??? whatever..., i'm being paranoid (is it the word?? i dunno..,) PMS i guess..., got dental appointment this friday..., and i got a week off.., yipppie!!! hahahahaha!! no heart feeling yah!! ^_^ till then.., the mad feeling brought to pair of sleepy eyes..., anyway.., i just want my own life...., thank you...,

journal hidup untuk bagasi muka 28

Hari ini rasa nak demam.., dengan kepala yang sangat berat and the cold air cond yang teramat…, ditambah dengan system yang perlukan database…, memang tak la kan melegakan…, almost all days I ask myself when will all this finish so that I can come back to be the normal me…, and every day the four of us…, aimi, nabilah and azriq.., will be counting the hours…, it is so tiring and I’m sick of it…, when it is my time to choose what job will I do.., I’ll choose it myself.., and I’ll make sure I will never regret my choice…, and I already have it…, even if the choice is too hard I will keep on doing my choice because I have chose it…, there is no turning back…, well it sounds like a depress person.., but I AM!!! I can only see 2 colors whenever I do this.., white and black.., what make worse.., it’s a grayscale…, aarrrggghhh!!! I don’t wanna go to work anymore…, but I have to do this…, just hang on for another 3 months…, (WTF 3 MONTHS????!!!!) for the first time on my journal…, ouh~~ I’m in depress mood dear…, I wanna go back home…, but I’ll be back next week on Chinese new year…, so…, I just have to keep my patience flowing in my vein…, hopefully I won’t be insane…, I got nothing much to say right now…, I just wanna go back to my room have a nice rest and watch some drama or movies or cartoons or whatever that can make me feel a little bit better…, till then…, just pray I’ll hang on..,

had been written last week.., don't really remember the date and day..., =)